1. |
A Coming-Out Song
03:50
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Let me tell you stories of when I was in the hospital
And all the things I did when I was there.
Don’t let it change the way you see me, if that’s possible;
Remember that you really do care for me,
That I’m the one you think is smart and cool.
I’m the one you think is beautiful.
I’m the one that you could see yourself coming home to.
Let me tell you all about the chore of medication,
The push and pull of picky little pills.
Listen attentively; let me try your patience;
Remember that I’m mentally ill.
But I’m still the one you’ve told your friends about.
I’m the one who brings your feelings out.
I’m the one you’re sitting listening to right now.
And I’m well now.
I’m okay now.
But it might come back, might come back any day now.
So let me make a promise that I’ll always go to therapy,
Promise that I’ll always ask for help,
And I’ll believe your promise that you’ll always take good care of me
As long as I take care of myself.
Because you’re the one I trust to know it’s me
When I’m someone I don’t want to be.
You’re the one who sees like no one else has ever seen.
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2. |
Our Neighbor Kierkegaard
02:16
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God morgen, dear neighbor Soren.
You probably don’t remember me, but I live right next door.
We brought you a casserole around three or four months ago
Around the time that you broke things off with Miss Olsen.
It’s good to see you out in the sunshine, you’re looking rather pale
And I bet
You don’t know
It’s been me that’s been fetching your mail.
God morgen, dear neighbor Soren.
This weather’s been rough; do I detect a slight tickle or cough in your voice?
You know, even with that hunchback,
I know you don’t think you’re that much to look at
But you’d see me looking at you if you’d only look at me back.
Well, god morgen.
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3. |
I'm Not Sorry
02:49
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I wish I were sorry
But I’m just not sorry yet
I love my house and my friends and my job
But I’m still not scared of it
I don’t feel the heat of a close call
I don’t feel the wind of its wake on my cheek
I enjoy lots of things again, listening, but
I still don’t struggle not to cry when I speak
When I rattle off facts
How low I turned down the thermostat
Took every last Xanax and
Filled up the bathtub with ice cubes and ice packs
I’m sorry I’m not sorry, but I’m sorry that I’m sorry
Because I’m just a little sorry that I failed
I wish I were sorry
But that’s not how I feel
Blacked out and came to in the ICU
And it just didn’t seem real
Despite the hum of a hospital bed
Paper pajamas and a port hanging out of my arm
It was hard to take it seriously
since I had come to no serious harm
I’m sorry I’m not sorry, and I’m sorry that I’m sorry
Because I’m still a little sorry to be here
I’m sorry, Dad, I’m sorry, Mom,
I’m sorry, everyone I love
I’m sorry but I’m really just not
Very sorry yet.
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4. |
Two Lions
03:59
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I can’t believe
This is how the story ends
Apples of gold gathering dust on the shelf
Gods looking down
In anger and bitterness
Crackling skin on the soles of your feet
I will not hear
Your howls in the wilderness
Faraway echoes traveling miles
Fruitless to track
Over briar and broken stone
Rivers of blood carving through chasm, crevasse
But I won’t give up so easily
Damned if you ever get rid of me
I chased you then, I’ll chase you now,
I’ll chase you all the way back to your house
And I won’t give up so easy, so easy.
When you were mine
Because I had made you so
Coaxing your will til it flowed through my hands
You spun me down
Like wool into finest thread,
Stronger than steel and thinner than spider web
So I won’t give up so easily
Damned if you ever get rid of me
I chased you then, I’ll chase you now,
I’ll chase you all the way back to your house
And I won’t give up so easy, so easy.
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5. |
Bar Mitzvah Song
02:28
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Just as the river runs down to the sea
I feel you slipping away from me
And I must subdue my jealousy
And I give you up
To Him in whose womb of being you turned
Long before mine
Lo-ami
Lo-ami
Baruch ata Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam
Baruch she'patarani me'onsho shel zeh
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6. |
You Can Watch Me
02:12
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You can watch me brush my teeth
You can watch me brush my hair
You can, you can, you can watch me take my pills
You can watch me wash my hands
You can watch me take my contacts out
You can, you can, you can watch me take my pills
I won't wait til your back is turned
I won't wait til the door is closed
I won't keep you in the dark
You can watch me wash my face
You can watch me take my makeup off
You can, you can, you can watch me take my pills.
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